Day eight – something close up

It seems a undecided day with the weather today, it starts off blue skies and then the black ones come rolling in, they roll out again and back to blue and now it is just being plain indecisive.  Not that this is bothering me, the dog has been walked, the washing is dry and I have no need to venture out into the cold world any more today apart from to do a bit of food shopping.

IMG_6634s copyThe thing that is bothering me today is what to write for this little segment.  I have got myself into this little habit of writing something for each picture, this was not what I had intended to do, but I have enjoyed the process and usually when I sit at the lappy top my mind has this ability to just flow like a emotional emo’s eyes, but today, nothing, my mind has been struck dumb.

The thing is, there are some things in my life which I want to keep secret and my relationship is one of those, this is why I haven’t mentioned the name of the fiancé as yet and do not plan to.   In all, I am a very secretive person and some people tell me that it is like getting blood out of a stone when it comes to some of the aspects of my being and my doings.    I suppose I have to feel comfortable about opening up at times, because I have had my trust thrown out of the window by those who I considered good friends.   Too many times, too many hurtful words, too many people disrespecting me, this is what has led me to having major trust issues with people.

I have a best friend in North Carolina who I consider a sister, she has opened her heart, her family and her home up to me, she has indeed treated me as if I where her sister but there are things I still cannot tell her. Oh believe me, she knows the biggie secrets but not the reason why, those things I just avoid personally in my life any way.  I miss her like crazy and her most amazingly wonderful daughters, its hard being so far away and not being able to see them grow.

Its not that I am frightened about dealing with some of my past issues or delving into the past, its just that I totally ignore the annoying bits until they just disappear.

I’m sorry my friends of the void, but I am bored of my conversation already, it seems I found something to talk about but I have lost interest with it, maybe another time.   To go on thought, I do have to deal a little bit into the past.  I had crippling depression at one time and I closed the world out, the Earth had lost it movement and the curtains where closed, I mentally lost my sight, so when I came out the other side of it, I started looking at the world in a different way, I saw details first then the whole picture.  It is like how I told a brilliant professor of mine one time, I was trying to write a essay but the dust on the printer bothered me to the point where I started writing about it, since then the printer has been well dusted and I got a A for the essay.

So here before you is my spanking new engagement ring, a one of a kind made by a wonderful lady I found on the most awesome invention of time so far, Pinterest.   I’m not a fan of wearing jewellery, I love looking at it and wanting to photograph, seeing how it looks on other people but it just gets in the way for me, it bugs me to no end, especially rings.  In my mind engagement rinds are so, samey, a silver or gold band with a huge rock that could nicely key someone’s car, but once you have seen one, you have seen them all, hence my lack of interest.   If I have to wear something for a long time, it has be something that say, me, so it took me a while to find something that took my eye and when I saw this one, I just knew that’s it.   The lady hand makes them all and no one is identical and she even takes the time to put a special engraving on the inside, I left that message to the fiancé and he was unimaginative as usual but its sweet.

I have what you would call spider like finders, long and spindly, so finding a ring to fit is an adventure in its self.  The lady on Pinterest understood my needs and pickiness and did me so proud.   Now, I have to make a slight confession, I haven’t been wearing it for a little while, but I do have a valid excuse for this, the weather has been so cold that my fingers contract even more and the ring just falls off, currently it is keeping the dust off a cat ornament I got from Greece many years ago.   I may as well just get my wedding ring tattooed, at least I know it will not fall off or spend the day spinning round and round and round.

I never really did get into this blog today, for some reason my mind is not there, feel most disappointed, oh well, nothing much I can do about it, I hope at least you got some entertainment out of it. Thank you for listening to me ramble on.

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