Day Twelve – Same short, different lighting

Hello and welcome to a house that smells quite teeth curlingly like someone has dropped a bottle of white vinegar everywhere.   It is my job to clean the mirrors today, so I figured I may as well clean the windows while I am at it, and apparently using white vinegar and newspaper brings out that special shine.  It works a treat but it smells something quite unholy.

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Today is a copy and paste of yesterday, and yesterday was a copy and paste of the day before that and so on, another cold, grey day in the south.  I like my winters but this one sucks.  Where is all my snow and crisp mornings of frozen dew drops on the grass, frosted spider webs and beautiful foggy mornings gently burning away to reveal that bright orb like thing called the, ah that’s it, the sun, haven’t seen it for so long, it’s name escaped me.  By the way this weather is going, I have become a pessimistic fortune teller and I can pretty much predict that it will be another copy and paste day tomorrow followed by a copy and paste day after that followed by, oh what do you know, another copy and paste day.

Like the weather I feel many of us get caught up in a copy and paste life, we either strive to look like each other, do the same as each other, aim for the same goal as each other, for some reason we flock like locusts towards this so called ideal of perfection.  When did being a copy become the new norm? And why is it that we not only expect it, but promote it to each new generation, it is no surprise that we are in this global mess full of selfish species called man.  Now when I say man, I do not mean as in the sex, boy, man, men because that on it’s own is an incorrect stereotype, I rather indicate the whole nation of human kind being the guilty party, although kind at times is a word used loosely.

We speak so much about being individuals, of finding our own paths, of walking our own walks of following our own dreams, but really, when it comes down to the nitty gritty, are we not just doing this because everyone else is doing it, or avoiding it in fear of not being in the normal?  However what is normal any more, it has changed so much and warped so much that I barely see anything of it that is not disfigured or scared and that is the most shocking thing about this, the fear. The fear of not fitting in, of not being liked, of not being popular for the right reasons, for not being what ever enough, so we copy and paste, become a disfigured mirror of the person next to us or inspire ourselves to be anyone but ourselves.   I have no qualms about modelling your self or values off inspiring figures if it makes you happy and inspiring to others, but then there is a thin line between being yourself and loosing yourself to a false identity.   It is true that you will always be you, but who does your mind belong to, who polluted it and copy and pasted that on you.

IMG_6699s copyOf course you may be sitting there and thinking what nonsense, but think about it, who are your friends?, who are your family?, you act differently between them don’t you?, you wouldn’t speak to your mother like your would your best friend so you would  act differently, you do this because you want to be liked by someone who doesn’t have to like you.  You want to fit in with them because at times it is imperative to you to be accepted, but to do this you have to agree and take on to other peoples values, either that or be dropped and kicked aside.

We choose to keep away from the homeless because they are beneath us, they are not of our stature, but is this just another way of saying that they are a nation of people who cannot copy and paste to our high standard of norm.  We say that they are drunks, they will take drugs or gamble the money we throw them, but isn’t that a double standard, true, they may do that because their life is hell, but rich people do exactly the same and we laugh about it in the glossy magazines.   Oh look people, Lindsey Lohan was found drunk again, what a surprise, who cares, she is no more than a homeless person with more money than sense.

IMG_6712s copyIt seems so ironically funny how easy it is to be undesirable in this nation and we are all guilty of it, either we concously know it on or not.  We stare at fat people and make comments under our breath, we judge those with messy clothes, we judge those with the wrong clothes, we judge for the colour of skin or age or ability, there is always someone out there who would either inspire to be like us or easily belittle us over something so small.   Don’t we all want to be a little bit thinner, a little bit prettier, a little bit taller, have a little more money, have a bigger house, have better health, have more friends, more lovers, more conquests we always want something more, and there nothing wrong with that, as long as it is not an unhealthy fixation.   We see these people who perceive to have it all, but there is always something in their life that makes them unhappy.   We are all human after all, and stripped down to the basics we are all just bags of muscles and bones but as soon as you put a brain in, everything changes, you become your own being with your own success stories and faults, then you copy and paste.

I want to fit in, I crave being liked, for people to know me and speak well of me, to be wanted, is that greedy of me to be filled with a self for filling pleasure when it happens? Should it bother me that it is a selfish act to perform differently to make others happy when it also makes me happy or am I just being a true friend?  I don’t know.   I have been left with more questions in my mind than answers and you know what, there are something’s out there I just don’t want to know or need to know.   At the end of the day, just be true to yourself, take care of yourself and don’t loose yourself in the pursuit to please others who are not accepting of the person you are, don’t copy and paste so much to distort the wonderful person you where born to be.

As for the weather, a change would be good please.

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