Well hello hello there my dear viewers of the void
Do my eyes deceive me? Could it be, or is this a mirage, no surely not, hang on let me check again, yes it has actually happened, there is SUN IN THE SOUTH!!!. It feels fantastic. I am celebrating by wearing shorts and t-shirt and best of all, no shoes, ohhh it feels like soft wings of heaven with the gentle breeze caressing my long piggie toes. Maybe I should top this off my finding my ELO CD and playing Mr Blue sky while dancing my backside off, now that my dear friends would be epic.
Today is valentines day and I had to dig my way through the mass of cards and letters from my many admires, the poor post man may have to take time off to recover from that venture. Ok, maybe that was a tinsey bit of a fib, the truth is nothing came, not a sausage, not a rats ass not even a care in the world, my doormat was bereft to the extreme of anything. Ho hum and oh woe is me and all that stuff. To be honest, it doesn’t bother me; I don’t understand why you can only proclaim your love in public on one day of the year. On the other hand, I had to remind the fiancé when I called him this morning, his reply was something along the lines of, I am hungry and the cat is licking himself.
Anyho, I have defiantly come to the conclusion my eyes are not deceiving me, I have even been outside with the dog and it is actually sunny and, wait for it, warm, punches fist into the sky and announces, YES to the world.
Speaking of eyes, aren’t they fantastic? I find them fascinating but also a little creepy at the same time. As a kid every night I had to go around my room and make sure all my toys where looking out the window or the door, any other way but my bed, I don’t know why but their beady little eyes used to frighten the living bejezzus out of me at night. I would be too scared to get out of bed to move them if I forgot, I couldn’t even move because they would come and get me and suck me into the cupboard, and that cupboard is a whole new kettle of fish when it came to stupid things to be scared of as a kid. Lets just say, it became an awesome ingrown issue that I’m still blighted with, oh the shame, I am a cupboard wimp. I lost a lot of sleep over that as a kid, so did my poor parents because they where the unfortunate ones who had to rearrange a child’s bedroom at two in the morning.
All this silliness has reminded me of a time a couple of years ago when one of my American cousins let me come and stay with him for a few days while I was pootling round Oregon. Him and his lovely wife had a pair of twin girls that must have been about a year and a half old at the time. They have a smallish house so the only room free for me to sleep in was the children’s playroom. In the hours of daylight it is full of dolls ad bears and picture books and everything else that happy girlies like, but at night it becomes a wolf in sheeps clothing, it becomes a pink and thrilly version of hell. Eyes and faces are everywhere and I mean everywhere, it is truly awful for someone like me. The sun went down, a poetic moon rose, the stars twinkled like fireflies on a still pond, the twins where quietly slumbering, dreaming of sugar mice and glitter and my hell was just starting to wake up. It was going to be a long night and being in someone else’s house I feel weird about moving stuff, but after ten minuets of feeling the burn of all those eyes, my OCD gave up and the rearrangement of room began. Dolls tall and small where angered to be facing a wall they have never viewed, stuffed animals had their hard noses pressed against the wall paper, Lego people had there heads removed and placed neatly in boxes, picture books where stacked into a pile with a blanket on top, photos where turned around, and then I saw them, the trio of almighty horror. The trio consisted of a clown, a bright pink Furby, and then bare in mind we have a set of identical twins girls here so of course there is another bright pink Furby exactly the same as the other, equally as terrible. Now, for all those who have heard of a Furby the general rule is, don’t touch because you will never hear the end of it, so with feather like dexterity I every so carefully picked them up with the tenderness and awareness of a game of Operation, not a breath was breathed, time stopped, the Earth stopped turning for that moment, a sweat broke out on my brow and then the realisation that I had to place this evil creature down, noooooo. I’m not going to bore you with the facts but it took a while and I managed to get both creatures of bealizbub settled down on a flat surface with not a peep out of either, although when I turned around I can swear I heard a small laugh, wee devil.
As for the clown, there was only one of them but that is enough for anyone’s lifetime of creepiness, they are the core of the damned with their corpse coloured faces, infected blown up lips, crossed out dead eyes wearing a spotty body bag, seriously how is that even funny and child friendly? He was hid under many layers of blankets and I would not be surprised if they still can’t find him. Good!
After half an hour my OCD has silenced and everything is as it should be to get to sleep. The light went off, Furby 1 sneezed and everything was silent, deadly silent, horror movie silent, I could hear a heart beat, it wasn’t mine, Furby 2 farted. I survived the night.
The moon sank wearly behind the beautiful mountains, the sun cast shadows over the trees and a new day began a fresh and new, then I saw it, the other one, how did I not see it, why did I not think there would be another, this is a twin house where they have two of everything, where did it come from, I swear I would have seen it, I guess you know what I may be talking about, yes another clown, directly across the room just staring at me with its cruel grimace, somewhere in the corner a Furby laughed. I swear it was not there.
My cousin walked in to offer me breakfast and just stopped dead, a thud from the other side of the country was felt as his chin hit the grown on the sight that greeted him. When he finally stopped crying with laughter he got the horrid clown, threw it at me, “you want toast nutter?” The kids noticed no difference what so ever. The clown disappeared after breakfast and reappeared in varying places in and out the house over the next couple of days, so to my cousin, I would like to say, yeah thanks for that dude, I hope a Furby chews your power and runs around the house all night.
I have blue eyes, not the cool kind like Daniel Craig’s, whose eyes I could happily spend a life time swimming in, but I have baby blue eyes, dark on the outside and pale on the inside with a hazel abnormality called Central Heterochromia. It is not uber noticeable unless you get up close but it is all there and I love it. Heterochromia is basically a cool fault in the colouration of the pigment in the eye and it comes in three types, non of them effect eye sight.
Then you have Marty Feldman’s eyes, they are a whole new conversation of what the heck in fascination, what a great man and actor, a laugh by just turning up. I wish I got to photograph him. (not my image)
I could go on and on about eyes and mutations, why they react the way they do and so on but I would like to let you into a heart warming true life tale.
Before I came into photography fully, I was a student nurse with a particular interest in paediatric nursing. For a small while I was working alongside the unbelievably amazing nurses of Cheltenham Battledown hospital. Every so often there was an squint clinic and surgeries and I got to follow this little boys journey from entering the ward to leaving the next day. He had a profound squint in one of his eyes that was impacting on his intellectual development, he couldn’t read without having to wear a patch on one eye to try and coax the other eye to right itself. Sadly it didn’t so he had to go into surgery. I sat with the doctors while they performed the operation and about an hour after this I got to see him awake on the ward and I cannot get over to this day how happy and corrected he looked, his life was changed for ever because of those kind doctors. The doctors and nurses from all over the world are hero’s.
Oh my giddy aunt, they are playing Mr Blue Sky on the TV, Jeff Lynn, your hair is EPIC!!!!!!
Last super quick but humorous story. I have only given one person a black eye, it was my mother, I was six months, I poked her in the eye when she was feeding me, she won’t let that one go. Sorry Mum.
I have been told I am good for portraiture because of the clarity of my eyes and all I have to say for that is thanks, but the face doesn’t do the same. I love my baby blues, it is one of the things on my body I can actually say I really do like. Wow those where two sentences of being full of myself.
They say that the eyes are the windows of the soul and once you start noticing, you really get to see a real person. I have done quite a bit of portraiture with models and friends, it is important to keep talking, to keep a report because you can see it in their eyes. Bored eyes look bored just as happy eyes look happy, for the moment in time you are in control of their emotions, bring out the best in them.
Eyes are a thing of beauty, I am absolutely stunned by some peoples, the tones, the hues the size and shape the length of those lashes. I once know a guy who lashes I would have given a kidney for, they where long and thick and curled, stunning.
Ok my friends I am getting OCD and annoying over eyes I could talk on and on about it and I guess I have. In short, I love living breathing eyes but get the screaming ab dabs from toys and posters in the dark.